Choose Joy

Ah!! I'm still vibrating at this high frequency. I feel unbelievable. ❤️

On Saturday, I attended a women's day retreat at Starved Rock State Park called "Choose Joy". I got there super early because I couldn't sleep and well, I'm innately an anxious person (but I'm choosing to observe this behavior/feeling as "excitement of the unknown").

You know when you have all these ideas in your head of what something is supposed to be like? Or you envision a completely different version from the reality? But then your expectations are superseded and the reality turns out to be pretty damn awesome? Ya. That. That happened. I mean, come on, there was yoga, meditation, a fire ceremony, sound/gong healing, essential oils, and a vegan potluck!! Chyeeeahh! All this awesomeness I am learning to love and embody.

When I arrived at the park, I walked up and was warmly greeted by all of these women full of beauty. These women that epitomized "Warriors of the Rainbow". My people. I checked in and looked at the raffle prize table. I found where I wanted to position my mat for the day. I took in the nature and the faces. I ate some peanut butter and a banana. I went to my car and cleaned it out. I went back to where I put my things. I went to the bathroom probably 5 times..because...anxiety. But then I sat down on my mat and it began. And then the day...just..flowed. I laughed and cried and wrote in my journal and sweat a lot and felt just unbelievably at peace.

In yoga, I have learned to be present. Because I have no other choice. Pre-Yoga Lana loved to live in the past and worry about the future. She hasn't gone away, but I feed her vegan pastries and tell her she is a rock star and read Addiction and Recovery Memoirs and make her do yoga to reel her in. On my mat, I am able to extinguish mostly everything bothering me and open not only my ears to listen, but my heart to heal.

I felt a particular theme resonating for me throughout the day: "Releasing and Embracing". I would jot in my journal when I felt the desire to release something and replace that energy with a new thought or feeling. What we give to the Universe, well, she needs it. And you better believe she is going to give you something good right back!

So here is why I'm still riding this wave:

I am realizing my self worth and what I can bring to this world, but mostly that I am enough. I am secure in my own space and willing to learn and grow as a human being. I am not here to judge or compare myself to anyone. I am me and no one else can take that away.

Release Fear. Embrace Warmth.

Release Self Doubt. Embrace Willingness.

Release Pain. Embrace Comfort.

Release Unworthiness. Embrace Acceptance.

And for YOU!!! If there is something that you are itching to do, something that you really love, something that you are naturally good at, or just something you are curious about then do yourself a favor and TAKE the RISK. Explore the unknown and you may find something you are truly passionate about. You may discover more about yourself and who you are. You may ignite something within that is aching to be discovered. You deserve it! Put yourself first. Say nice things to yourself. Change your language and raise your vibrations!!! We teach others how to treat us by how we treat us...

You are in control. You. You have the power to create every moment.

What are you ready to release and what are you ready to embrace?