When I was told, "Imagine yourself a year from now. It will be worth it." and "To live life by example and it will all fall into place." I honestly was like ..mmmk....whatever. I'm just not drinking anymore NO BIG DEAL. How much can I honestly change? What? Is something wrong with me? Why do people keep saying I'm 'glowing' or that I look 'alive'...eh. The heck... And you wanna know something? They were right. Those people, those books, that advice, that inner voice....
I never could have dreamed where I am TODAY. The peace and serenity I feel when I lay down at night, the beauty in each day as I rise, my dreams being fulfilled and my soul being fed. I eliminated something from my life that started as a distraction turned to an obsession turned to an addiction before FINALLY taking the reins back and WORKING so very hard. So UNBELIEVABLY WORTH IT hard, the yoga move that hurts so good hard and the bath water that's too hot yet oh soooo right hard. The hard that gets easier and shows results.
I post about my journey not only because I'm in recovery and an advocate, but because I believe in you. I believe in happiness, self fulfillment, dreams, goals, and being alive; but with that please know I believe in pain and sadness and turmoil and depression. I know it is so very real and life is so very tender, but it is worth it. I promise. You are allowed to feel all the feels you have. Just know: You are not alone.
In the movie "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" there is a quote: "She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was the hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time." I get that. I get it.
So I guess that's why I wanted to share with you today. It's not easy and it may not seem like it makes sense, you may be super defensive and feel victimized, you may be on top of the world, or you may be just coasting through...and then one day as you sit outside gently stretching, your daughter may take a picture of you and you can see and feel how all those little things added up and have brought you somewhere wonderful.